Season of Joy, Season of Grief

Although this year is a little more merrier,
my heart quickens a little with excitement,
feels a little fuller,
there is still a beautiful girl missing.

Her ornaments hang on the tree,
one with her footprint to remind us she WAS,
while her mama daydreams
about a little blond girl with pigtails,
3 years old,
dressing up in her Christmas dress to see the nutcracker
opening presents with her brothers on Christmas morn.

My heart which has grown at least two sizes this year
still aches, still breaks a little.
I shed a Christmas tear for my joy
I shed a Christmas tear for my sorrow
A season of dichotomy