Trying to do List

Some have "to do" lists, here is my "trying to do" list
Trying to:
1)refocus my energies on my son and husband
2)stay positive
3)not be so irritable
4)lose the baby weight while toning and strengthening
5)not to obsess over seeking out information
6)be productive during the day
7)not to feel helpless or out of control
8)be helpful and in control of me
9)not to read too much into things (i.e. my purpose, OUR purpose)
10)work on mending, retaining, and building worthwhile friendships
11)finding pleasure and beauty in the simplistic daily occurrences
12)cherish as many moments as I can, because who knows what is around the corner
13)take one day at a time
14)recognizing my little triumphs and letting go of the things I don't achieve
15)love-purely and openly

Things I have found or have found me this week:
-After talking with DH about how out of control of my own life I felt(and consequently how helpless and unmotivated), he reminded me that Jessica was a whole 'nother person of whom I had no control over. I mulled over this for a few days and now, yes, this makes the most sense. He also made the point that this type of thinking will destroy me...I agree (besides I have never been one to self destruct or spontaneously combust for that matter *ha*)

-When thinking about another baby, I have come to the realization that yes, another child could die, but to fear this to an extent to not venture out on this new journey would be as foolish as locking myself in my house, fearing the outside world and its perils. Yes, I would be safe, but I would be missing out on so much. And when I think about the other times I have been heartbroken, I have still loved and have taken that chance amidst the heartache, and have come so far because I did. I do agree that , "tis better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all".