UPS

Dear UPS-man,
When you park your truck in the middle of a residential street with the lights flashing and engine running, I have to hold back with all the strength I can muster not to hop in your truck and take off flying down the road. I was thinking how fun it would be to sell all the packages on your truck on the black market while you get the wrap for it. Not neccessarily for punishing you for blocking both sides, but just because I have so many frustrated memories of dealing with your service (or lack there-of),lost birthday presents, paying for 2 day shipping that gets here in 4 days and running to the side of the road because I am so sure that when you go 45 in a residential zone, you will not be able to see me and my young child walking, but just because I think it would cause me sheer joy to do so. So next time you see me in my little silver car trying to get around you because you're parked in the middle and not over to any one side, you might want to think twice before leaving your big brown scrumptious truck running or much to your surprise, you might find me, waving and laughing at you from the driver's seat of your vehicle.
A friendly warning,
from a continuously unsatisfied customer