Falling in...

Stored deep in my memories of long ago, there was a place deep within the woods. I had always loved the woods after a rough rain and would often go walking just after a storm. The air would be crisp, leaves still filled with droplets, the ground soft and cool beneath my feet, crunching slightly as I crush the slick needles. But sometimes, when I would venture out, I'd find that place again. The place where the wood clears, encircled by the tall looming pines. The sun hits the top of the trees for an instant in glittering splendor. I am temporarily paralized by it's beauty; my feet stop dead in a moment of stillness. I am blinded, if only for an moment, enraptured by the warmth. When my consciousness resumes I venture forward, placing one foot ahead. But something is not right as I take the step. The earth is too saturated with the dampness. I slip uncontrollably. But instead of falling to the ground, I fall through the forest floor. Falling, falling, as if in slow motion, into the darkness.

I land there, at the bottom with an aching, sickening thud. I look around, the darkness threatening to engulf me. I go to scream, but it chokes me. I can see the faint light at the top, but it is laughing at me. I find my voice and scream, but not in fear, in anger. I have been here before. I have slept here, helpless in the darkness, fearing every sound or screech in the night. I have clawed the walls until my nails were dull and muddy, desperately trying to get out. I have prayed on my knees, begging, pleading for mercy. I have sat in the solitude until it plucked away at my sanity. I have cried ceaselessly, until tears could no longer be formed. I have ached with emptiness, until the hunger threatened to consume me inside out. I have replayed every memory, searching for a wrong turn but never finding an answer.

I never know how I find my way out of that pit in the woods. Sometimes, it is simply like waking from a dream. But often upon waking up in my own bed to the light and warmth through the window, I wonder which is the dream, and which is the reality...