Mystery solved...

My own experiment resulted in just a super sensitive batch of OPKs. I'm sure AF is just around corner

New Day..

It's a new day and the start of a new week.
After all the crap (car,job, A being sick) that happened last week, I am ready to move on.
All we can hope for is better, right?

So here goes..

No thanks...

I found out yesterday that a friend is pregnant again. She already has two and it was my understanding (as of two weeks ago) that "they" were not planning on having anymore. He even gave her a puppy six months ago because he said no to a baby. She is not exactly a hands-on mum and spends most days on the computer while her children play in the house all day. I have always felt that she had 'trapped' her husband by getting pregnant and part of me just senses this manipulative nature.
Somehow I knew.
Every time her husband puts the pressure on her to grow up and get a job, she gets pregnant. So I knew, when he had gotten her this job she was going to start, that she would somehow manage to get pregnant to get out of it. I even suspected, as he was telling us all about this job she would do, that she was pregnant right then. I think it was the mischievous way her eyes sparkled just then. Or maybe it was the surprising and unexpected excitement she tried to convey as she was talking about the job.
I shouldn't have been surprised when Dh got the phone call that announced her 6 week pregnancy. And I wasn't. Just a little angry.

And the neighbor who has already f#$ked up her own two kids, now has an 11 year old foster kid.

Seriously, because the world is that screwed up.

Plan of Attack.

I really like my OB/Gyn. She was ready to write the referral last appointment, but since the analyst said it would likely be turned down by the insurance, we are pushing forward with the Cl.m.d test this cycle. If I don't respond, then that is more evidence for the referral. She is testing and doing the things I wanted the RE to do anyways. I have read up and done my research, so I feel confident in this course of action. I have a few more months before I really want to "try" to get pregnant because with layoffs in our district, and me at the bottom of the senority chain, the more I can time it with little leave, the better. But we'll see. So I am not stressing at this point and just taking things in stride.

In the meantime, my goals are to get back onto a uber-healthy lifestyle. I have gone back on the sou.th.beach diet today. I want to lose ten pounds. I also want to get back to working out every day. The past couple of weeks I have started a dance class three times per week through the local com.munity coll.ege. Now I just need to do my elliptical, walks or a DVD the other days. All three times I got pregnant was right after I had just dropped some weight. I know my body will respond to this. Also, all the research says losing weight, no matter how small, can boost fertility.

I feel I am staying positive with things happening in my life. I am staying in the present and feeling hopeful toward the future. I am especially looking forward to Dh and I's weekend away. We are going to a B&B by the sea in a couple of weeks. The room has a private balcony looking over the ocean, a fireplace and a jacuzzi. If we only leave the room to eat once a day, I'll be a happy camper.

I am pushing forward. I am not putting my life on hold anymore. I say that I am working on these "projects". Projects without deadlines; getting pregnant, getting healthy, working toward a new career, baby, meditating. For awhile, I would not make plans because I "might" be pregnant, or was trying to get pregnant, etc. I'm not doing that anymore. I can't do that anymore. Pushing forward feels good. I feel in control; not of my life, but in control of me.