My first dream since Jessica left us.
Snip-bits:
-Failing a final exam and refusing to take time off for my loss
-Being in the ocean while killer whales approach. Trying to get to the boat and worrying about them snatching up my son
-Last scene I remember was bright red blood on my hands and knowing they will never be rid of the blood
My interpretation:
Final exam - anxiety over the future and maybe some guilt about not taking time off
Killer whales - fear - fear over control of my life and being able to protect my son from death
Blood - Knowing I will never be the same and maybe some guilt (remembering Macbeth)
I'm not sure what I'm feeling guilty about though, but obviously there must be something if it is manifesting itself in my dreams.
I guess I'll have to think about that
missing_one
About Me
- missing_one
- west coast, United States
- I'm here because it seems to be helping. I am mother to a toddler and we lost our beautiful daughter on Mother's Day 2007 because of cord compression . Ironically, the day she died in the womb, May 12, was her "exact" due date(40 weeks). So many things like this I cannot explain. We welcomed our 'rainbow baby' Jan 2010! Email me: amendingheart at gmail dot com
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1 comment:
You have no reason at all to feel guilty, but you will.
Should I have done this, should I have known that. Should I have gone to the hospital earlier ........ It will probably never end. I have these thoughts EVERYDAY.
As for your dreams, well i think they are a way for your brain to cope with the thoughts your heart cant.
I had a dream soon after Zak died. And in it I was still pg. When I woke i lay there thinking about being pg and about this beautiful bub inside me. It took probably a good 5 min before i remembered what had happened and that I wasn't pg anymore. Was just horrible.
Hugs
xxx
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