Okay, I haven't been dreaming much, but here's what I remember from last night.
Somehow, I was missing a child and totally forgot about my half child. I'm not sure how this worked, but in my dream I always thought of her as my half child. She was a baby and I totally forgot to breastfeed her for a period of time(it seemed like months) until finally I noticed the other mother feeding her formula. It was only then that I thought I should nurse her because well, I probably still had the milk, and breast is best right? So I tried, and yes, I still had milk in my breasts and as soon as I started nursing, they just filled up with an abundance of milk. This was a good feeling for me.
The next part gets a little fuzzy. Somehow there was this bad man and he was determined to do harm to our group (I can't really remember who was in this group, other than that they felt like family). Anyways, I overheard him talking to his assistant (because doesn't the villain always have an assistant?) and he was thinking of doing something to my half child (who was now like 4 or 5 in size). I then said that I would like to take her place and he somehow cut open the side of my face and then stitched it back up again. I thought we were safe.
He and his asst. decide to leave no witnesses and hang me. I go willingly to do this. As I am hanging there, waiting to die, my group comes by and is talking with the bad man. The bad man decided that he must do more harm and that he will choose one of the young girls and have his way with her. I think that while half my face is not so great to look at (because of the slicing and the stitching) that the other half still is pretty and that I will see if he will do it to me, instead of one of them. Gasping, I offer and he accepts.
The last scene is when he cuts me down from the noose and leads me into the circus looking tent. I look over my shoulder at my family and think to myself, after he is done, he will most certainly kill me so as to cover up the DNA evidence and prevent any sort of life being created.
Creepy weird, right? I'm not usually such a morbid person so this must have something to do with the grief
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5 comments:
I'm not very good at interpreting dreams. I'm sure it is a way of processing grief. Lately I've been having a harder time...and my dreams have become more vivid and disturbing. I know...I'm not much help...just wanted you to know that I feel it too.
~Carole
I am no help with dream interpretations, but I did have some scary, horrifying dreams after C. died. So I think that what you described here is probably one of the crappy sides of grief.
Waking up in a panic and cold sweat is never fun.
Surprisingly I woke up completely calm. No sweat no anxiety.
That is a strange dream. As a strange dreamer myself, I sometimes think that dreams don't mean anything. Other times I really want to know what they mean.
I am sure the grief is not helping any.
I have had some anxiety ridden dreams but this one of yours sounds terrible. I definitely think they are related to stress and grief.
I told my psychiatrist that I wasn't really sure that dreams could be interpreted but I do think it makes scientific sense that they can be related to your underlying thoughts and feelings.
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