The Observer

Every now and again, I feel like an observer of my own life. When I find myself in situations, I sometimes feel like I am not living it, but just watching the whole thing.
That happened the other day. I was sitting there, with my toddler by my side, two mommies in front of my (toddle-less for the afternoon), one baby across from me and a newborn to my other side. Mom 1 turns to Mom 2 who just had a baby a couple of weeks ago "So what is the best and the worst about having a newborn again?"
It's not that I got mad...or sad...or anything really. I sat there a little dumbfounded about how these two friends could be so damn clueless. But I'm used to the random comments now. They truly have forgotten everything.
I've been thinking a lot about who I used to be. Some other posters have been blogging about this and I've given it a lot of thought.
I many ways, I am no longer who I was 8 short years ago. When I go to my reunion I think about whether people will recognize me or not. I don't recognize me. Physically I haven't changed much, but as for everything else....well, much has changed.

And sometimes it is almost like I am watching me from afar, without emotion. Just observing.