If I could just get back to that happy serene place.
I don't know why I try, ever so often, to read up on all my friends on their blogs and profiles(the ones I knew, once upon a time IRL)...especially this time of year.
I'd say I am happy for you and how what a great year 2007 was for you, but I am NOT HAPPY for you. I am bitter. I'm not happy for you being pregnant, or getting married or having a new addition, or losing weight, or just being happy.
Whatever.
Let's see what 2007 brought me, a dead baby and 20 lbs to lose. great.
In other, not-so-bitter news:
I have my "annual" tune-up tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I wait everyday for it to "get worse". "It" being anything. Will I get cancer? Will someone I know be hit by a car?...I hate this thinking.
I've been kind of sick the past day with abdominal pain that worsens when I don't eat anything but bread. I'm hoping it's just a bug, but of course I've looked at all the things that it could be....the things that are much worse.
I want to be in the happy place again....
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7 comments:
Sorry to hear that you're in physical pain on top of everything else. I think it's ok for you not to be happy right now considering the year you've had. I had to "take a break" from my happy friends as well. Putting on the mask is just too tiring for me and makes me pity myself even more.
P.S. At least you only have 20 lbs to lose. :)
It would be good wouldn't it.
To put on those ruby slippers and think 'there's no place like home'. Or in this case 'take me to the happy place'
If you find the way back, let me know!
I truly hope you find that happy place again. I hope that someday, you look back on this portion of your life and have a hard time remembering what it feels like to be so unhappy, because it's so far away.
I hope that we all find that happy place again. I look back and remember how innocently I looked at everything. I would love to get that back.
I wonder if one needs to be in the bubble to be in that place again. I hope not. I really hope not.
Currently, I live in fear of cancer. I know that if I get it, I won't be strong enough to fight it, as well as I should.
I use the fear to put my ass in gear. I use it as an incentive to lose weight and to eat better. I still want to lose another 20 pounds.
I do hope that you find yourself in a better place soon. It is so hard.
No words. Just Hugs.
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