After having a little fit of mania last night due to the recent accomplishments of most of the items on my "to do" list, I am found, this morning fighting back that ever looming gray cloud. I'm not fighting that hard, truth be told, but I can feel it there, just at the surface. When will it take over?
I am not taking any "medications" so to speak, but am taking a variety of herbal remedies that promote hormonal and emotional balance and neglected to take them with breakfast this morning. After being just a little sad and then a little snappy because I was fighting the sadness, I remembered to take them. It's now an hour later and I am feeling more even-tempered. I hate the fact that I feel a need to take these supplements, but I am grateful they work and also grateful that they are all-natural and relatively inexpensive.
There's a relative coming over this afternoon who've I've had a really rocky relationship with long ago....the test will come then. And the only reason I've let this person back into my life is because of my son, but now question even that.
Tomorrow will be spent with Dh's family-and I've been instructed that if we get any more questions about when we will "have an announcement to make" to have full permission to say something like, "we just buried our daughter, let us grieve!"
Will I do it? Will I not? Only time will tell.
Tuesday morning will be spent with just the three of us and feeling grateful to be able to watch my son experience "all the joys" of being a child on Christmas morning.
The evening will conclude with hosting a little Christmas dinner with Dh's parents and sister, my mother and sister, and Dh's brother and his wife/family.
I bought some wine just for me (because I'm the only one who likes Merlot and don't want to compromise between Merlot and Cabernet *Dh's preference* this holiday) to enjoy that comforting, warm and fuzzy feeling in my body. Just a little treat for me for the holidays.
I wish everyone an "ok" (because we all know it's not going to be great or even good probably) holiday, whether you are celebrating or not.
Maybe more appropriately I should say "Peace be with you"
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6 comments:
Delurking to say peace be with you as well. I'm sure this is going to be a terribly difficult week for you, and I'm really sorry about that.
I've got my wine ready also. My best friend is coming over tomorrow after she escapes family. She says she just wants to be with me and "bah humbug". Isn't that nice?
Throwing a bit of peace right back ya.
Hope the afternoon with your relative went okay. I also hope that your little boy experiences all the joy and wonder of Christmas...even if you (we) cannot. Peace.
Hope it went ok. Or, at least, that the wine did you good. Peace to you.
Hope it all goes OK for you and that you have a peaceful Christmas.
C x
I like that you are prepared for ANY invasive questions. It's just not okay, that people do that.
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