Nieces....

I have a niece. She will be 2 this summer. She seems happy when I go over there, but it just dawned on me that I don't know her.
She was born after J died. I was blissfully buzzed at SIL's shower for her. It was the first shower I had attended since J died. It just doesn't seem right. They have financial troubles, SIL has health problems when she becomes preggo. It just doesn't seem responsible to 'plan' for another child when you already have two you can barely take care of. And yes I'm going to say it here because I can't say it aloud: It doesn't seem responsible when WE are financially secure. I DON'T endanger my own health while pregnant. We are a house where we don't yell obscenities at each other, fight with one another, have mental illnesses like bipolar disease. We own a home; we have jobs; we are educated. Our little girl was so wanted and would have been so spoiled in a good way. And yet, SHE got to keep hers. She got to keep her little girl who will likely grow up poor and in debt, with a mom and half brother who are bipolar, surrounded by verbal abuse between her parents.
Life is not fair. I know this. It's not HER fault. I know this. She is the first and only granddaughter of the family.

I should get to know her more.....I'm going to try. She is my niece and she may be the closest thing to a little girl I have.
But I need to find a way around the bitterness.