Strangeness

Life is strange.
I wish I knew what would happen in the future
but if I did, then what would be the point of it happening at all?
Do you ever wonder, what the hell the point of it all is?

I used to think I knew, but now I think I don't.

CD53 BTW
HPT as of yesterday, still NEG

Come the f&*k on!

Still waiting.
CD 50
HPT neg

Today is my sad day.
I was so sad I forgot my son's swimming lesson until it was too late
Which made me feel even sadder.

He replied, "mommy, don't cry. I go swimming tomorrow it's ok"

note: yesterday was in fact good, but what a low today..

Ghosts

The way I see it, we either live with the past, or we are haunted by it.
There are scenes which replay in my head in the still of the night. There are voices I hear in broad daylight.
Sometimes I feel as if I am being chased by ghosts.
Really, can't you see them too? (I look around while asking "normal" people)
How can I weave the lives and death of my children without being haunted by it?

Tears

I cry because I want the world to know
sometimes I wish it didn't.

I cry because I wish you would remember
sometimes I wish you'd forget.

I cry because I wish you were here
but you are not

I cry because I wish I were not alone
but I am

I cry because what might have been
and what was

I cry because how beautiful you were
yet you were

I cry because I don't understand
I don't really want to

I cry because my sorrow is deep
it stabs like a knife down to my core

Of all the things I've ever lost
you I miss the most
Of all the things I've dreamdt about
you I cannot have

How silly to think that I've loved you the most
when my love was cut short by your fall

I cry because of all these things
I've lost a piece of me and without it, I am no longer anymore