Was.

my baby girl died
almost two whole years ago
I miss her and me

Bucket List.

I'm putting together my Bucket List, you know, the things you want to do before you die.
This is what I have so far, in no particular order.
1. Learn how to sail
2. Learn how to fly a plane
3. Travel to Italy, Greece and Ireland
4. Take a cruise to somewhere exotic
5. See the Grand Canyon
6. Get a breast lift and mini tummy tuck (don't laugh at me)
7. Have another living breathing child

What's on yours?

Break..

I need a TTC break so I'm going on BCP for a couple of months.
I have lost too many pieces of me and need to retrace my steps and attempt to find some of them before they blow away in the wind.

Bleh

I have nothing to contribute to blogland these days.
CD 23 and it looks like I'm getting my period. More than just a few spots, and dark deep red. fun.
I tried temping but Cl*m*d made all my temps super high. I never got a good LH reading which means I probably didn't ovulate.
So I guess I failed the test.
I feel shattered and angry and sad that my baby died. Sad that I didn't get to keep her when so many get to keep theirs.
I am waiting for someone with a huge dust pan to come up and sweep up the pieces.
I am defeated. =(