Flashback..

After reading Niobe's post I was reminded of the instant where we were alone in the first room just after they confirmed Jessica had passed and suddenly my doctor reached for the heart monitor again. She was able to get a heart beat that was pretty fast, as fast as a baby's. It took me a minute to realize it was my own heart beat. As if mine was beating so fast in an effort to compensate for hers (or so I thought). Of course the doctors became worried for my own health and I just sat there in awe that maybe as a last hope, my body was trying to bring her back. My doctor asked me, "do you realize your heart beat is dangerously fast right now?" and I said, "well yes, I am in shock, of course it would be". I guess it was a funny thing to say.