I woke my son up this morning and after we said our 'good mornings', he looked at me full of the wide-eyed innocence that only a four year old has and said, "Mommy", you're going to have a baby!" and smiled. He went on to ask "how big is it now?"and "when will it get here?"
For the rest of the population, I have been inserting my "maybes" and "hopefullys" at the end of my answers to questions like that. Like it was my own injected disclaimer. But I just couldn't do that to him.
It will break his little heart if this baby does not make it. The thought of his little heart makes me shatter inside a little. He was too young to remember my pregnancy with Jessica. But I let him believe because I too, want so much to believe.
And so my burden to bear will be the pulling of the tiny stitches of my heart, so that he may, at least for now, remain so innocently optimistic. He can be optimistic for the both of us.
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4 comments:
I watched an interview with Pat.rick S.way.ze recently where he said, "Hope is a fragile thing." And man, did I want to pump my arm in the air and say, YES! YES! YES!
Hope is fragile. And just because it's a tenuous thing for us, there's no reason it has to be for your son. XO.
"He can be optimistic for the both of us".....yes he can. :)
Praying for this miracle...Praying peace for you till this sweet baby is resting safely in your arms.
Let him hope for both of you. For all of you. Absolutely. And if you don't mind, I will too.
xxoo
Hope and the innocence of a child... May we all have it...
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